Being the child of two engineers, it was certain that there would be some method to the madness that was my parents raising me. Looking back at over 30 years old and contemplating the possibility of raising my own family in the future allows for some introspection about what some of the most important things imparted to me by my parents were.
Before that, I wanted to briefly talk about the process of imparting them.
From a high level, parents have two essential goals in raising their children into adulthood: Keep them healthy and impart and instruct them in how to operate and live within the world they were born into. This manifests itself in an infinite number of areas, and the outcome is largely out of their control. However, the mechanics of HOW to do this is quite interesting to me.
Upon reflection, what struck me is the idea of: How, amongst all the activities of daily life, can you raise your child so that when they sit down 30 years later to write about their family’s values, they convey the same things their parents attempted to instill in them?
Now, we all have free will and will become unique individuals with distinct beliefs and ideas from those who raised us. However, this idea of communicating shared belief systems is incredibly important and thought-provoking.
Interestingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, given my line of work, what it reminds me of is the job a CEO of a company (large or small) has in setting the core identity of his or her organization and having everyone march to the beat of the same drum.
In studying corporate leaders across America, including those within our company, I’ve come across a few key characteristics that, in my opinion, increase the likelihood a message permeates the organization:
- Repetition – If you want a message to permeate you must repeat it ad nauseum – almost like a political stump speech.
- Repeatability – It must be a tangible idea that is able to be communicated completely and succinctly. Often, in the corporate world, this takes the form of core values or a mission statement.
- Walk the Walk – “Do as I say, but not as I do” does not work. Leaders who their employees believe embody and truly believe that which they profess are significantly more likely to buy-in to the mission, values, or goals that are espoused.
As someone who has not yet raised a child, I am not about to suggest that there are only three steps to mastering parenting! However, I do believe these principles for conveying & instilling values can be beneficial in both corporate and family settings.
You may be asking after all this: So, what values were instilled from your childhood?
To that, I would say:
- How you do something is how you do everything.
- Character is built in a lifetime but can be ruined in a second.
- You can’t control the outcome, but you can control your effort.
- Be curious, be respectful, and have fun.
And finally, one bonus item that, while not necessarily imparted by my family, I think is one of the most powerful beliefs I now have:
- Adversity is not suffered on the absolute scale of all human adversity in the world, but instead It is borne within the relative scale of all the adversity that preceded it for that individual. The reality is that some of us will face “tougher” trials than others, and that is not inherently fair, but we should meet those around us with compassion and the understanding that even though the issue may be trivial in the scope of all humanity, it might be their toughest battle yet.
January 2025
